Monday, January 19, 2009
What does submission mean to me?
The dictionary defines submission as: a willingness to yield or surrender to somebody, or the act of doing so.
Submission of any kind does not come naturally to anyone, male or female. Submission has nothing to do with humoring one's husband, or aiding and abetting his whims, it is the means through which a wife yields to, and empowers, her husband. It means, submit to your husband as willingly and wholehearted as you can, provided that the essence and goal of your submission is a loving, nurturing, respectful and lasting marriage. The wife's responsibility to submit to her husband must be seen as an essential part of her undertaking to be a partner to her husband.
Some synonyms are:
Obedience: the act or practice of following instructions, complying with rules or regulations, or submitting to somebody's authority.
Compliance: readiness to conform or agree to do something.
Capitulation: surrender or a giving up of resistance.
Surrender: to yield to a strong emotion, influence, or temptation.
Acquiescence: to agree or comply with something in a passive or reserved way.
Giving in: to allow somebody to have something such as power or a right.
Deference: submission to the judgment, opinion, or wishes of another person.
Assent: a formal expression of agreement or acceptance.
These words have motivated me to fulfill my role as a wife, in submission and love. Many people do not understand what submission really means or the importance of submission and that submission is the “cement” of love and marriage.
What is the opposite of submission? It is definitely 1st and foremost PRIDE, self-importance, arrogance, resistance, confrontation, fight, fighting, battle, struggle, conflict, and opposition. These are all words that should NEVER describe a relationship, especially a marriage.
Why is it sometimes hard for me, a wife to be submissive to my husband? Well, self-will, pride, “I’m right,” it looks like he’s not capable of making that decision, etc. are things I sometimes question or think. Am I being truly submissive? No, I am undermining my husband’s authority and self worth. I am being disobedient and defiant. I am failing the both of us.
Can a wife be submissive and still have a rebellious heart? Yes, as far as the outward “act” of submission—but not as far as true submission, this is an attitude of the heart. When you have true submission it is a behavior that requires much obedience, discipline and self-control. It is very hard to do, but true submission is not an act, it is the greatest gift you can give your husband. To submit without question to your husband knowing that he always has your best interests at heart is the most difficult thing you will ever do but it will also be the most liberating thing you will ever do. Submission involves a great deal of mental and physical effort or exertion and is often difficult or awkward to do or achieve. A rebellious wife is a stumbling block in the life of her husband and their marriage. Emotional insecurity, peer pressure, and everyday worries nag even the most confident male in the world, because of the power-orientation nature of man. The rebelliousness of the wife aggravates this and mortally infects the relationship between them. The wife has a duty to enable her husband to shift from the outside world to that of a loving home not only because that will result in her being loved and respected by her husband, but also because it is her duty as a wife. Submission is the sacrifice she makes therefore enabling her man to be successful in his responsibilities as a husband. Just as no man can become a husband without a woman, so also no husband can become an ideal husband, or do justice to his responsibility as a husband, without the help of his wife.
Does submission mean a wife never thinks for herself, never has an opinion, and never makes a decision? No, a wife should tell her husband how she feels, what she thinks about an issue and then commit the situation and the outcome to her husband, always trusting and obeying her husband. Submission does not mean that I always agree with my husband’s decision or choice but I always yield to him. There are some decisions my husband wants me to make. These are a part of being submissive. If I make the wrong choice I have to live with the consequences. Given the dynamics of family life as well as male nature, it is natural to incorporate wifely submission in order to help the husband to become a 'proper' husband, which no man is at the beginning. It is important to remember that the wife's submission should be received and given as a gift, not as a ‘right,’ by the husband nor is submission to be offered and withdrawn as wanted by the wife. Both wife and husband have a shared and sacred duty to ensure that this remains a gift and does not turn into exploitation of the wife. The husband especially must have the maturity to know that if improperly received and exploited, the submission that his wife offers will cease to be a gift resulting in harm to both parties.
Rather than feel aggrieved by having to obey their husbands and submitting to them, wives should welcome this practical guideline for making their homes a haven of peace, harmony and fulfillment. But it is not easy to submit. Why is it desirable, that wives submit to, or obey, their husbands? Wouldn’t it have been more polite, instead, to instruct them to 'love' their husbands? The paradox is that it is the strong that need to submit and can do so without feeling humiliated. The submission of the weak is involuntary and leads to helplessness. To the world, however, submission suggests defeat and humiliation. The quest for power, and our cultural differences, stigmatizes this option. Our cultures assume that women who submit to their husbands are weak, abused and have something wrong with them. It is not because they are weak that wives are to submit to their husbands, but precisely because they are strong. And it is not just to obtain domestic peace that they need to so submit. Submission that is compelling and given without restraint is not a character flaw but a gift. Its purpose is blessing and loving their husbands, liberation and it is positive to both parties, all of which result in empowerment. The characteristic of an empowered woman is that she empowers both her and her husband through her submission to him. A husband who coerces or forces his wife into submission, presuming male superiority, denies himself the empowering love or gift of his wife’s submission.
I guess what it all comes down to is my submission to my husband is a powerful gift not given or taken lightly. Do I always think of my submission as a gift? No, especially when my butt is bright red. But I always know I do it willingly and with an open heart and soul. Would I ever change our relationship? Never for a minute. Do I ever feel unfairly punished? Yes, what wife doesn’t when she is hopping around with a freshly spanked butt? Will I submit to my husband next time he gets out the paddle, brush or belt? Yes, willing and with out question. Does my husband abuse me? No, I was in an abusive marriage before. I never allowed my ex-husband to spank me. He did not have that type of respect for me or our relationship. I am in a normal, happy, loving, respectful, and wonderful marriage where I submit to my husband and he is the Head of our Household. He spanks me & I am thankful and grateful for each and every time he whispers in my ear “You will be spanked…”
Thank you for reading my thoughts and allowing me to express myself here in this blog.
Posted by slave_puppyface at 10:30 AM