Monday, January 26, 2009

How the "Formal Thank You" helps the HOH

The "Proper or Formal Thank you" as a nonsexual Act

The DD way of life is very clear in its significance of punishment. It is the use of corporal punishment to diminish unconstructive behaviors and enhance positive behaviors. In short, it is modifying the woman’s demeanor so that she can achieve her greatest potential as a woman, wife and mother. The dilemma which arises is how to sufficiently show appreciation to the HOH for all his hard work? There is no question that the woman should constantly express thanks to her HOH before, during and after she has been disciplined. Nevertheless, few women recognize that their HOH has gone to great lengths to discipline them. Some women are so appreciative that they humbly fall to their knees and perform what is recognized in DD circles as the “proper or formal thank you.” A “proper thank you” is when the woman fellates her man after discipline. Some couples have mistaken the “proper thank you” as a sexual act, but nothing could be further than reality. The “proper thank you” is not the same as oral sex – it is not blatantly sexual. Disheartened couples, who are trying to separate punishment from sex, should rest assured that the “formal thank you,” is something entirely different. When giving sexual fellatio, I find that the act has a definite technique, skill and element of surprise. Frequently the woman plans in advance, by discovering new ways and skills, so as to make it exciting and sexually stimulating for her HOH. The woman will herself feel sexually aroused at her man’s pleasure. She could also feel a sense of delight and triumph at being able to please her man in such a way. She will frequently think about new ways and skills to please and may start off by tenderly and leisurely teasing her man as she builds up the energy. The aspect of surprise is key since it keeps her man wondering, never quite knowing her next move. Covering the act of fellatio in mystery and surprise may sound calculating, but nothing could be further from the truth. The woman knows that her man receives immense sexual pleasure from her efforts yet she still serves him submissively and willingly. The aspect of surprise by keeping her man guessing is for his sexual gratification. If she were to only follow his explicit orders in each and every stage of a sex act, then her man would not reach such a powerful sexual satisfaction. He would grow bored and the woman would feel insignificant. The “formal thank you,” nevertheless, does not have the factor of skill, technique and surprise. After she has been punished, chastised and humbled until she is expressing remorse and crying, sex is certainly the last thing on her mind. She will not be capable of considering the technique and her pleasure, if her thoughts are still tuned in to the causes of her misbehaviors. She will not be capable to fellate her man sexually, if in her mind the words are still echoing from the scolding and her thoughts are drawn to the throbbing and pain of her recently spanked butt. She may be crying moderately hard and find it difficult to breath. She is also feeling embarrassment and remorse from having to have her HOH punish her. As she continues crying she may be struggling to catch her breath and be unable to prevent herself from choking. Although there is nothing obviously sexy in a "formal thank you" many DD women find that it is a genuinely feminine and intuitive act. This act will naturally assist them in becoming a submissive woman. It is something they instinctively do to show their utmost appreciation to their HOH. Her discipline can, consequently, remain non-sexual, as long as she is not receiving any "direct" sexual gratification herself. There is no explanation why the woman should not realize what her HOH is trying to teach her from the discipline and then formally thank her man. In other words, her discipline would not be diminished by imposing a sexual interpretation on her fellatio. The "formal thank you" is a very natural and responsive method for a woman to show her profound gratitude and admiration to her HOH. Countless men also depict the “formal thank you” as not explicitly sexual. The sense of power and release that they feel is not the equivalent loving sexual power they experience during lovemaking. They can be overcome by their woman’s emotions and are often inundated by their own inconsistent emotions. On the one hand, they feel satisfaction in a job well done, by disciplining their woman successfully; on the other, they feel sympathy in seeing their woman in pain and in tears. In addition to their contradictory emotions, the HOH may possibly feel physically and emotionally exhausted, particularly if the woman’s punishment has gone on for an extended point of time. There are other men, nonetheless, who do achieve immense sexual delight from fellatio after punishing their woman. This is also extremely normal. The essential thing is, for his woman not to reach any direct sexual pleasure from the act herself. Or else, the most essential purpose of her discipline will turn into a sex act and she will not learn or grow from the lesson her HOH is trying to teach her.

My next blog in the series will be about how the "Formal Thank You" helps the HOH.

For a HOH, there is no other view more stunning than his woman submissively performing fellatio on him after she has been punished. As she kneels down before him crying remorsefully, she expresses her greatest appreciation and gratitude in the most overwhelmingly feminine way. Performing fellatio on him is a powerfully appreciative act, which respectfully and submissively thanks her HOH for putting so much time and attention into her personal progress and maturity. The “formal thank you” goes way beyond the physical pleasure of sexual fellatio. It is an intensely submissive act. The woman’s submission is a non-verbal way of showing immense gratitude to her HOH. This gratitude is particularly important, since it supports his place as HOH and leader of the home, who has the responsibility to love, treasure and discipline her when she misbehaves or needs correction. The HOH will also benefit since it reaffirms that he has handled his responsibilities appropriately. It isn’t just a “thank you,” but an immense “thank you.” He will sense that he will have carried out his undertaking well. It is the "conclusion" of the discipline. The entire progression of discipline and forgiveness is not complete without the woman's physical display of gratitude. It is the often omitted piece of the lesson – the act of the “formal thank you,” after discipline, which will not come full circle and affectionately bring everything back into its correct place and conclusion until it is preformed. As the woman meekly kneels down before him and performs fellatio on her HOH, she can be obsessed by intense desires to seek out his support and forgiveness. This impulse is two fold, since it also cements her HOH’s natural feelings as her protector. Her HOH benefits since the “formal thank you” supports the significance of her feelings that she truly belongs to him. It also strengthens the significance that she has submissively surrendered herself to his will with out question.

My next blog in the series will be about how the "Formal Thank You" helps the woman.


  1. Hello, popped over from Bonnie's site to say hello and welcome.
    Loved the post and pictures, thanks.

  2. I thank my husband in this way after being spanked. I love to give him head and he loves to recieve it in this way

  3. I usually give him the formal thank you too. I don't initiate my sexual release from it. Still he hold off from ejaculating and after awhile he reaches for my womb and does whatever he likes to ensure my wetness. He then has me kneel in front of him and he enters me from the rear entry position. He would be insulted if I did not come from this. But these spankings are not just for erotic reasons. They are a frequent punishment for being unfaithful many years ago.

  4. I like the idea of domestic discipline just as much as the next girl but what I don't like is all of this pretending that this kinky stuff isn't sexual... all the women will tell you that they are aroused before during and after a spanking... and for a man to actually have the audacity to say that his wife blowing him isn't sexual now you're just crossing the line....